 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
From February 2004 UPDATE Twelve Ways to Graciously Accept Rejection - Dara Girard Twelve
Ways to Graciously Accept Rejection By Dara Girard 1) Open the envelope. Use a
letter opener, if it’s your first time. Trembling fingers will
create a mess. Despite the fact that it’s discouraging to receive
envelopes with your own handwriting you may be surprised what
is inside. It could be a request for more information or
a revision. Don’t automatically assume it’s a flat out rejection.
People have missed opportunities this way. 2) Read through the rejection
letter. Even if it’s a form rejection, you may get a laugh at
how pretentious it sounds. 3) Check for advice. If it’s
a form rejection (something that’s addressed Dear Contributor
or Author and has ‘doesn’t meet our present needs’) chuck it.
However, if an agent or editor has taken the time to add a personal
note, jump for joy. That is a gift. But you don’t have to take
the advice if you don’t agree. It’s just an opinion. 4) Be upset, but not bitter.
This is not the time to tell everyone from your spouse to your
mechanic that so and so editor or agent is a (fill in the blank)
or that such and such publisher is a (fill in the blank). Tantrum
throwers are interesting to watch, but rarely listened to. Except
on the odd occasion when the cousin of the mechanic happens to
work at such and such publisher and blacklists you. It’s a small
world. 5) Cry, but don’t sob. It may
feel as though your heart has been broken. However, the basis
of the rejection could be as simple as a case of indigestion or
a bad hair day and that is certainly not something to sob about.
It’s just an opinion, not a judgment of your worth. Try to remember
all of the famous people who have been rejected for silly reasons. 6) If they request changes
or to see more of your work, send it. It’s not easy to get an
editor’s attention so this is not a situation to take lightly.
However, I must reiterate, make changes only if you agree. They
are not obligated to buy your work just because you made changes.
Think of it this way. It’s all about integrity! You wouldn’t wear
a thong just because your boss hints at a promotion, right? 7) Send out the manuscript
again then mope. In exactly that order. You have every right to
be discouraged, but do so when you have the hopes of getting a
yes elsewhere. A manuscript in your desk drawer is an assured
‘No.’ 8) Mark the rejection on your
list. You don’t want to foolishly send a rejected manuscript to
the same place. Also this list will be critical when you’re ultimately
published. 9) Do not send poison pen letters
or death threats. Rejection is not personal, though it may feel
so. Submissions are like job interviews. If you’re not hired,
there are plenty of other places that will hire you. The publishing
industry is small, so making enemies isn’t the wisest thing to
do. 10) Celebrate. Buy a pen, rent
a video, buy flowers. I know this sounds strange, but it’s a good
habit to develop. Many dreamers don’t even reach the rejection
stage because they haven’t written anything or have been working
on the same fifty pages for thirty years. You’re on the same path
as Stephen King, JK Rowling, Anne Rice and others who have had
work rejected. It’s a cool club to be part of. 11) Avoid the waiting place.
Tuck the rejection carefully in the trash bin (you can save it
if it’s really interesting) then write. Anything--an essay, short
story, poem, novel, journal, letter. You cannot let rejection
take away the joy of writing. Never let anyone else’s opinion
define who you are. 12) Remember that rejections
are necessary. They prepare you for the next heartache: reviews. -- Dara Girard is an expert crier and uses her rejections for origami practice. Her novel Table for Two (BET Arabesque) is in stores now. For more information about this Washington Romance Writers author, check out her website: www.daragirard.com.
|